he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
