I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
