Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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