Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Someone signed my nipple.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
