there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
