Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
