Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
