oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you win again, gameday.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
