its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
