Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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