Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
