pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
