I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think a kid would responsible me up
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
