Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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