The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Randomize