It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
