His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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