kristin has been a bad kristin
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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