Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's great music for shaving your balls
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
