You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
