I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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