i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it glows. i had to have it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
