honey bunches of taint.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
its liver damage thursday
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
