Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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