A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
