i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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