I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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