just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
