All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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