I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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