i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
