i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
