Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize