Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
