Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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