I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
