There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
