THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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