You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
that's an acceptable place to lick
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
