Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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