Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
