My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
