I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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