i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
