Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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