God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
