I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Randomize
