At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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