you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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