lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm too high and old for this...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
