we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
